Dear Auntyji
Last week, I had a mishap that unleashed some kitchen cabinet chaos – and I’m still dealing with the consequences.
I opened an overhead cabinet in the kitchen, and the biggest handi in the house came tumbling down, landing on my face. Auntyji, I saw taare zameen pe, just like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. I didn’t bleed, but I got a huge lump on my forehead and my nose and cheek are super sensitive, even a week later. I didn’t go to the doctor because, well, it was only a handi, and it’s not like I broke my nose.
But the reason this happened is because my husband thoughtlessly shoves pots in overhead cabinets because he is tallest in the house. For months now I have been telling him not to do this, as it is an accident waiting to happen. Strangely, after the initial shock and pain wore off, I didn’t feel anger – which is what I expected to feel towards my hubby because this was a consequence of his lack of care. I was accepting of this: it was in my karma to feel this thappad from the universe for some past misdemeanour. Hubby was mortified when he heard, and has been behaving weirdly ever since. It’s as though he’s waiting for me to blame him. I know he is upset about his carelessness – which makes me wonder if I actually died in that mishap and I don’t know it yet. The pain in my face tells me I am alive, but my husband’s sadness makes me think I died. BTW, I did not blame my husband or even make him feel guilty. I stayed with the facts that a handi fell on my mukhda. How do I make him feel better? kitchen cabinet chaos
Auntyji says
Oh, my poor chameli, my little kishmish – I am saddened to hear about the handi taking its badla on innocent you in such a poetic fashion. kitchen cabinet chaos
But I am gratified to see that you did not let your rage get the better of you – and that you did not make your husband feel guilty for this carelessness.
Now if you are feeling pain, I suspect you are still zinda. Although, if you are not feeling anger, then you could be a calm aatmaan. I mean, if you had died with rage, you would be a churail by now and your husband would be quivering in the pantry waiting for a broomstick to flail him as he begged for forgiveness.
So, my perspective is that your husband feels guilty and remorseful. And in a strange way, your calm acceptance of this durghatna makes him feel even worse. At least if you had shouted and carried on and writhed on the floor in pain, that would have provided a release for all his stress hormones. But never mind.
See, the fault is also yours, my little darkini. If you knew this was an accident waiting to happen, why didn’t you implement safety protocols? Why didn’t you put in a risk mitigation, like proposing the pots be stored elsewhere?
Maybe that’s why you’re not feeling rage. You are just as much to blame for this situation. So what to do? Simple. Tell your patidev that it is a woman’s lot in life to be at the mercy of her handi and other bartan. And woe is you. And then search on the internet for jokes and memes about pots falling on people’s heads and share this with hubby. He will appreciate the grace with which you’re dealing with this mishap. kitchen cabinet chaos
