Dear Auntyji (rest & relaxation)
I am a 47-year-old man from Fiji married to a white Aussie. We have 16-year-old twins – a boy and a girl who mostly look like me, but white. Auntyji, I am a General Manager in a technology company and so I have a stressful job. I’m not one of those Bollywood-obsessed Indian parents, but sometimes after dinner, I like to watch old Bollywood songs on YouTube – they bring me joy and relaxation.
But the problem is this. Every now and again, I’ll be sitting there, minding my own business, listening to Mohd Rafi or Kishore Kumar, with Sally the dog at my feet and Poosa the cat next to me. Sooner or later one of the kids will make an appearance. If it’s just one of them, they will linger a little and watch what’s on TV. But heaven help me if they both happen to be in the kitchen at the same time.
They communicate with silent language – as though they are reading the other’s mind. All of a sudden, my son will place a tea towel on his head and play the part of the heroine, while my daughter pretends to be the hero. Then they dramatise what they see on the screen, pretending to sing along.
Ultimately, Poosa the cat decides he has had enough of this tamasha and walks away with a dismissive flick of his tail. I have no choice but to yell out, Tum dono upar jao because I forget to speak English and I revert to Fiji Hindi. My kids then laugh uproariously and run upstairs, giggling like preschoolers, and calling me a Bollywood-obsessed Indian parent.
Why do they torment me like this, Auntyji, how do I get them to stop ruining my solitude?
Auntyji says
Arre ullu, you have so many blessings in your life, and this is what irritates you? What kind of a nasamajh are you that you don’t realise you are living the best years of your life – and your children are making memories that they will probably tell their own kids? Imagine this – 20 years from now, one of your kids will probably tell their kids, “Oh yes, Pops used to sit there listening to Bollywood and from time to time, to amuse ourselves, your uncle and I would dance around like the Bollywood stars in Choli ke Peeche, and Pops would yell at us in Fiji Hindi upar jao, which means go upstairs. Your grandfather probably wanted to be a Bollywood hero.”
See, my little ullu, your kids are having fun. They are happy children and every now and again they express it, and you get to see something that is beautiful and fleeting. There will come a time when they stop indulging in such endearing shenanigans. So, my advice to you is to cherish these moments because they won’t last. Enjoy it; appreciate the beauty of it, because you are a lucky man.
Also, here you are having such entertainment in your own house – why would you bother with Bollywood? Next time this happens, watch your kids and notice how carefree and beautiful they are. Enjoy the moment. You have riches beyond belief, so stop focusing on stupid stuff – and wanting to be in the club of Bollywood-obsessed Indian parents.
READ MORE: Noisy children: How to gently set boundaries – Indian Link
