Dating in Australia
‘Having a boyfriend is embarrassing.’ ‘High value men only. ‘Use your 20s to level up.’ The internet’s views on dating are clear – romance is out, and self-improvement is in. All these messages have made me feel at liberty to put romance and the journey of finding a partner on the backburner. But with the furore over Valentine’s Day, just passed, being as big as ever, I felt compelled to ask if fellow South Asian origin Gen-Zers were doing the same, or if I should instead be feeling an intense sense of FOMO. Dating in Australia
Eight individuals were interviewed, evenly split between those raised in Australia and those who grew up overseas.
Upon reviewing their responses, a telling pattern immediately emerged: those who were raised in Australia were less likely to be actively involved in dating, with only one out of four in a relationship, whilst all four of the participants raised overseas were either in a relationship or open to looking for a partner.
This obvious divide could not be explained away by differences in the way participants in each group were raised either. In fact, their parents’ attitudes towards dating could be reduced to one phrase: Dating wasn’t explicitly forbidden, but academics were the first priority.
So, what’s the issue?
What differentiates these groups isn’t parental nor cultural influence, but rather, their perspectives on how dating might impact their personal goals.
“I started thinking about dating around 22–23,” Suhani,* aged 24, who was raised here, says. “The main reason I didn’t start earlier was simply that I wasn’t too bothered at the time. Most of my uni years were during COVID, so I didn’t really have the opportunity to build relationships. Once I started working, I wanted to focus on that for a while before thinking seriously about dating.”
Others, like Gayatri, aged 24, went as far as to view dating as a hindrance to achieving personal goals. “I have so many interests and hobbies that I am just not sure where dating would fit among all those side-quests,” she says.
This is not to say that those who were dating had no concern for self-development – instead, they simply viewed the process of finding a partner and later, experiencing the highs and lows of a relationship, as another step towards achieving growth.
“I believe dating is a meaningful experience that…pushes individuals outside their comfort zones,” 24-year-old Aditya, also brought up in Australia, says. “Being in a relationship has helped me develop greater confidence and maturity in my daily life, and it has inspired me to pursue things I had not previously considered.” Dating in Australia
Perhaps it’s no surprise that only those actively seeking dating opportunities felt universities had a thriving dating culture. For the rest, ‘social life’ and ‘community’ were buzzwords used by institutions to convince you to enrol.
Even international students noted the only real barrier they faced were perceived cultural differences which were later easily overcome.
Vivek, aged 25, notes, “There was still a subtle cultural hesitation between Indian students and other nationalities – a quiet awareness of difference, but university acted as a bridge. It allowed friendships to form first, and from there, feelings sometimes followed.”
Others viewed dating as a natural and central aspect of the social fabric of university life.
25-year-old Anushka – an international student, notes, “The openness around dating is nice to see. The dating culture is more relaxed, normalised and people don’t seem concerned about how it looks to others. It’s also easier to meet people and talk about dating in general.” Dating in Australia
But this is not to say that all is well in the contemporary dating scene. Participants reported that men were less willing to be vulnerable, fewer people wanted to enter long-term relationships, many had conflicting schedules, and social media was constantly changing the rules of the game.
“Social media unlocks new fears you didn’t even have. A reel pops up on your feed saying “If he wanted to, he would,” and “never chase,” and suddenly, you start questioning a relationship you were perfectly happy about five minutes ago,” international student Trisha points out.
For many, dating apps add fuel to the fire. To them, these apps merely contain the false promise of connection.
“The rise of dating apps means that people have an overload of choice which creates the illusion that someone better can be found. I think it makes people less patient and forgiving toward their partners,” Alia, aged 24 says.
Aditya adds, “Dating apps can sometimes present an unrealistic or inauthentic image of people, which can make it harder to form genuine connections.”
Some people like Anupama, an international student aged 22, prefer to find connections the old-school way, “For me, connection is not just about swiping right, it is about courage and sincerity…”
Despite the often dystopian framing of modern romance in the age of social media and dating apps, these interviews suggest that young people are not surrendering to mindless swiping. Rather, many are approaching dating with greater intention – seeking genuine, offline connection and relationships that endure beyond fleeting, short-term encounters.
Their collective rejection of dating apps signifies a return to the more traditional form of romance. One that values openness, vulnerability and above all, genuine and long-lasting connection. Dating in Australia
*Names have been changed for privacy and responses have been edited
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