modern Rakhi traditions
I began this week thinking about Rakhi – as I always do, about a week before the actual day.
In the early days, that meant sending a physical rakhi to my brother – not always easy when he was defence personnel, changing postings frequently. My earliest rakhis, some 37 years ago, were handmade with ribbons and ribbon roses; there simply weren’t many commercially available here in Australia.
Then life got busier, with young children and all that came with them, and a solution arrived from an unexpected quarter: Indian Link Radio.
A beloved caller, the very wise Subhadraji, rang in one day on a Rakhi-themed show to say that she now tied a rakhi to her favourite Ganesh idol, asking him to carry her wishes to her brother.
My heart melted. I adopted the idea that very year.
To this day, I make up my platter with rakhi thread, mithai and flowers, take it to my largest Ganesh idol and tie the rakhi on him. Then I photograph the whole thing and send it to my brother.
His response is invariably something to the effect of: Ganesh delivered. Thank you. God bless.
It’s our take on this ancient festival celebrating the brother-sister bond: long-distance Rakhi.
So diaspora.
Of course, diasporans have found plenty of other ways around distance: Amazon-delivered mithai, digital shagun, rakhis ordered online and dispatched across continents.
And this week, with Rakhi coming up on 28 August, that online activity is reaching fever pitch.
The innovations on offer are fascinating: Rakhi ‘hampers’, gold and silver rakhis, precious and semi-precious stones. Lapis lazuli rakhi, anyone?
But if you think the digital rakhi is an innovation, Gen Z might well say: That’s so last century.
And they’d have a point.
Because it isn’t only how we celebrate Rakhi that is changing. It’s who we celebrate it with – and even what the ritual means.
Rakhi beyond the brother-sister relationship
Traditionally, a sister ties a rakhi to her brother, symbolising their bond and his promise of protection.
Increasingly, though, it’s not merely about brothers and sisters. Rakhis are being exchanged between sisters, cousins, friends and chosen family – and beyond traditional gender roles.
Bollywood actor Kriti Sanon has spoken about the sister-to-sister rakhi tradition in her family, a celebration of sisterhood and of looking out for one another.
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Another celebrity, after losing his wife, spoke about keeping alive her Rakhi tradition by continuing to send rakhis – and even tying one on her dog, as she used to do. (Yes, ‘dog rakhi’ is a thing.)
And it’s not just the celebs. One Reddit user won plenty of affection online with the story of his little cousin sister, who insisted she wanted a rakhi of her own. He obliged – and it has now become their annual tradition.
Elsewhere, women are tying rakhis to female friends, siblings are exchanging them mutually, and children are even tying them to parents.
Which raises a rather lovely question: what makes someone rakhi-worthy?
Or perhaps: how lucky are we to have rakhi-worthy people in our lives?
There’s a larger social shift here. Rituals survive by changing – and, in this case, by becoming more inclusive.
Who protects whom?
The traditional promise of the brother protecting the sister is changing too.
In contemporary families, sisters protect brothers as well – emotionally, financially, socially, sometimes literally. And what does ‘protection’ even mean between adult siblings? Covering for you with Mum? Calling out a bad relationship? Being the emergency contact? Looking after ageing parents together?
We asked Gen Z siblings about this idea of ‘protection’. The answers were hilarious.
“Protect me from what?”
“She earns twice what I do.”
“My sister protects me from my parents.”
Beneath the humour is something significant: gender roles have changed, even as the ritual has remained.
In my own family, the Rakhi ritual between my son and daughter hasn’t invoked the protection theme for years. It always ends with a much simpler message: be there for each other, through thick and thin.
A personal Rakhi after 37 years
This year, my favourite Ganesh idol is going to feel somewhat lonely at Rakhi.
After decades, I’m finally in the same town as my brother, and I’ll be doing the honours in person.
For me, protection was never really about him standing between me and danger. It has simply been the promise that someone who has known me all my life will continue to have my back.
And vice versa.
Perhaps that’s what Rakhi has always been about – even if it has taken us a few generations to say it differently.
Happy Brothers and Sisters Day.
Read Also: Rakshabandhan memories: making my own ribbon rakhis
