In a shocking revelation that has rocked Canberra’s spelling community, NT Senator Jacinta Price has today doubled down on claims that the Australian Labor Party is flying in planeloads of Indian migrants – not for jobs, not for votes, but purely for free English tuition. Jacinta Price Indian comments
According to Price, the ALP has “abandoned ordinary Australians” and is instead recruiting spelling bee champions from Delhi to help fix the party’s own branding issues.
“They can call it multiculturalism if they like,” said Price, waving a half-eaten sausage roll at reporters. “But everyone knows the real reason they’re here is to put a ‘U’ back in Labor, because Queen’s English is the only visa category that still gets approved. You just wait – by Christmas the logo will read Labourers Party, and there’ll be curry puffs at the Bunnings sausage sizzle.”
Sources say the first consignment of spelling bee champions is due next week.
One prospective migrant, speaking from Kolkata, admitted he was “confused but flattered” by the invitation. Jacinta Price Indian comments
“I thought they wanted labourers for construction – because they need to build a million homes for their homeless people,” he told Indian Link. “Turns out they just need help with vowels! My six-year-old daughter has corrected their spelling; she’s now on to fixing the typos in Hansard.”
The child in question, fresh off a national spelling championship, observed, “Do you know, none of the three major political parties in Australia – Labor, Coalition or Greens – have anything to do with U.”
Yet she confirmed she was open to helping out. “But only if they guarantee me a front row seat in the MasterChef studio audience,” she said, leafing through a Macquarie Dictionary for fun.
Political analysts say the incident marks a new low in Australia’s immigration debate, though insiders note it’s not the first time spelling has caused problems in Canberra. “Remember when Barnaby Joyce thought ‘integrity’ was a type of Italian pasta?” one staffer said.
At press time, Price was reportedly mistaken for someone’s Aunty Joshna in Bengaluru, with relatives insisting she looked “much better in a saree anyway.” Jacinta Price Indian comments
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