It’s a simple message of self-love and pleasure that Natasha Lama hopes to share with the world, but for many young South Asians, it’s bound to stir a much deeper chord.
In these households, even with the best of intentions, conversations around sex and sexual health can be tricky.
“Growing up in an Indian family in Malaysia, I never felt like I could ask questions about these things,” Natasha tells Indian Link. “When I discovered porn at a young age, I had no one to talk to about it. I felt like I was exploring this entire space of sexual health stumbling around in the dark.”
Hoping to ensure other young South Asians can have a different experience, the 24-year-old started browngirl.sexology on Instagram last year. Using colourful images, her own selfies, and useful infographics, she was determined to tackle all things sex-related, head-on.
“The mission is to celebrate pleasure, our bodies, and all things sexual health, through my lens as a young Malaysian-Indian in Australia,” she smiles.
Browngirl.sexology is indeed a fascinating page to explore. Debunking myths around virginity and contraception, fielding questions on consent, sex toys, and period shame, and doing it with no shame or fear, it seems there’s no subject too taboo.
“I always knew I wanted to get into the health space,” Natasha shares. “I first came to Australia in 2016 for my undergraduate studies in psychology. Then I took a break to explore what I’m really passionate about to study further. Ultimately, I landed on a Masters of Public Health (Sexual Health) at the University of Melbourne.”
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According to Natasha, the most frequently asked questions on her page are about masturbation and sexually transmitted infections.
“I encourage these questions that come from healthy curiosity. People often ask me if their habits are ‘normal’ or ‘okay’ and I have to say, I hate using the word ‘normal’ because there’s so much variety in the human experience. What’s normal for me might not be normal for someone else. There’s no right or wrong way to explore your sexuality.”
She extends this need for nuance and understanding to conversations around sex work and porn.
“Porn isn’t inherently bad and enjoying porn doesn’t make you a bad feminist – it’s about how we treat the performers and how it’s distributed. Young people will inadvertently discover porn on the Internet, shouldn’t we create spaces to ask questions about it?” she wonders.
“After all, porn is a form of entertainment, it’s not a slice of life. It’s not what actual interactions with your own partner will look like. I think we need to ensure young people learn these things by being able to talk about it.”
Unfortunately, Instagram can be a tricky platform to vocalise these issues. While some hashtags like #letstalkaboutsex have over 105,000 posts, others like #sexpositive and #sexeducation are limited to meet Instagram’s community guidelines. It forces sexual wellness advocates and influencers like Natasha to use words like ‘seggs’ and ‘p0rn’ in their posts instead.
“It’s almost amusing that I’m a sex-positive advocate trying to get people to learn and use the correct terminology for our bodies, but I’m using different words myself to avoid getting flagged,” she laughs.
Still, most feedback on browngirl.sexology, which has around 2,500 followers so far, has been fantastic.
“There’s a deep sense of pride and joy from doing this. I’m really happy to be carving this safe space for our community and it’s great to hear the same from family and friends. My brother is one of my biggest supporters. Sometimes my parents have their concerns, but I’ve always been their stubborn daughter who will do what she likes,” Natasha says.
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And as with all things social media, she isn’t without her fair share of trolls.
“It was a challenge at first, but I learned not to take things personally. It’s a projection of how they feel and not really about me,” she observes. “My message to people who don’t appreciate this type of content is: I’m sorry you didn’t feel comfortable doing or talking about these things at my age, but I encourage you to sit with that feeling and unpack your discomfort. Often, you’ll find that the crux of it all is shame.”
This is perhaps easier said than done. It can be a long, potentially uncomfortable experience, but Natasha insists the end result is worth it.
“Don’t be so harsh with yourself. There’s so much joy in embracing what brings you pleasure, and I find it bleeds into other aspects of your life, like allowing yourself to rest or enjoy food simply because it makes you happy. This is not a linear process, but it’s so rewarding.”
In fact, she highlights positive results in her own relationship in giving her partner the space and freedom to explore what being sexy and comfortable means for them.
“Running browngirl.sexology makes me reflect on my own relationship and how my partner doesn’t need to be some ‘macho man’ for me. Young brown men deserve tenderness and care too. It’s all about giving ourselves the freedom and grace to find what works for each one of us,” she says.