Assalama waleikum Auntyji.
I’ve just had an argument with my fua (aunt) and I really need your perspective.
I’m a 23-year-old teacher, and my parents have been hinting that it’s time I “settle down.” I’m not opposed to finding someone, so I’ve been on a few dating apps lately. Last week my fua, who’s 50 and generally a badass, came over. Over chai, my mum told her that I’d been “meeting boys online” – and that I’d matched with 11 potential candidates.
I pulled out my phone to show fua the profiles. As I scrolled through, I swiped left on most of them and told her that none of the guys really appealed to me. She asked me more about the men, but I explained that the first step was simply seeing who caught my eye, then I could decide whether to chat or meet them.
Fua looked utterly shocked. She said only a shallow or uneducated person would judge someone by their photos. I tried to explain that attraction matters – if I’m going to share a life with someone, I should at least want to look at his face every morning! She called me judgmental; I called it having standards. It got heated, and I feel awful about it now, but I still think I’m right.
Auntyji, am I missing something here? I really do want to find love – but surely there’s no harm in wanting to start with a spark?
Auntyji says
Walekum as salaam, my little Iblis ki nani. You are truly shaitaan ki mami if this is your ignorant, budtameez view of life. Haven’t I written about this before, you kamini? Were you not paying attention?
Islam advises us not to judge people by appearance – yet here you are, judging away, the same way you will be judged in jahanum! Our Christian brethren tell us we are made in God’s image – so when you reject someone based on their looks, you’re essentially rejecting God’s handiwork. swipe left
And if you had read even a few verses beyond your social media feed, you’d know that the Ashtavakra Gita teaches us that outer appearances are illusion – maya! Don’t even get me started on what Judaism tells us, because that wisdom would simply fry your feeble mind.
Kalankini! How dare you judge God’s creatures by their faces? What makes you think a handsome husband will treat you with kindness or respect? Learn to see the man behind the photo – because even Bollywood, in its infinite wisdom, tells us:
“Dil ko dekho, chehra na dekho, chehre ne laakhon ko loota, dil sucha aur chehera jhoota.”
You didn’t even have the courtesy to understand the person behind the profile. You’re choosing based on pixels and filters, my little churail. Your fua is right – and you are 100% wrong.
You will be judged harshly in jahanum for this, my little kaali billi, and whatever punishment you get, you’ll have earned it. Tauba tauba! Now excuse me while I go pray for redemption, for merely associating with a jaahil like you. Look what you made me do.
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