Mature decisions and matrimonial intents

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Mature women make mature decisions
Dear auntyji
I have a peculiar problem on which I needed your guidance. I am 43 years old and have been married once before. I have bought and sold three properties. My new husband is 34 years old and has never bought a property, and is now buying one for the first time with me. Now, because we both earn a good income and don’t have kids, we save a fair bit. We are about to get a mortgage for a million dollars for a terrace in Sydney. We are fairly conservative and are not stretching ourselves financially. The mortgage payments per month will be covered by my husband’s income, which is lower than mine. I am confident and comfortable about the mortgage. However, my husband is making a big deal about the whole process, and is torn up and worried sick about this mortgage. Each time we talk to our banker he tells us we have nothing to worry about, but my husband still gets frantic and stressed. He says he is concerned that we won’t have savings. In my experienced and prudent view, we have nothing to worry about. But Dev?s stress makes me very irritated. He is overwrought by the situation, as though he is the only human being ever to get a mortgage. Please tell me how to manage this situation so that the process of buying our home is pleasant and filled with happiness, instead of stress and anxiety? Please help me aunty, or I will have to divorce this nadaan! Only joking!
Auntyji says
Arre, This is what happens when you marry a bachcha. This inexperienced ladla, who left university not so long ago and probably does not even own his car, is now being a grown up and does not know how to deal with it. Well my dear gulab jamun, there must have been reasons why you married such a nadaan, such a bachcha. So, with the good that youth brings, such as stamina, virility and longevity, there are setbacks, such as an irritating lack of experience with worldly matters. What can you do, except try to alleviate this young buck’s concerns and guide him through this journey? Mera mutlab hai, when you think about it, why else would he have married you if not to get all the privileges that comes with dating someone with more experience, earning capacity, whatever. Ok, I know I sound harsh, lekhin mein jhoot nahin bhol raheen hoon. Poocho na apni saheliyo se. Your ladka is lucky to have a wise woman by his side.
It’s time you told your pati dev to man up and understand that the mortgage process is not that scary, with millions of Australians with no education and low incomes all engaging in this national pastime. Tell your husband that he needs to be cool, or else you will send him to the corner while you take charge. Nothing is more irritating than a husband carrying on like a toddler about a process that is so simple, anyone can do it. Your husband needs to grow up. But you knew all this jab shaadi kiya tha unse. It’s time you told him how grown ups do it. Then tell all your mature friends to have a word with him. Silly boy! Worrying about not having a savings when you are in such a privileged position. Bewakuf chikna!
Find them at Uni
Dear auntyji
I read an article recently where a lady gave some advice to girls that while they are at uni, they should find themselves a husband. Everyone was outraged, but I am struggling to see the issue with this. Can you please tell me if I am misguided or I am missing something?
Auntyji says
Yes, I too read that article and I am unsure about the tamasha. What the lady said made a lot of sense. Essentially, she said what we wise, old fashioned Indian aunties have been saying forever. You should always marry someone smart and talented, from a good family. And if you are a smart, talented girl, then where else are you going to meet a smart talented boy than at
uni? I see nothing wrong with this statement. If you want to meet an eru geru, as my Fijian bahenas say, go looking for such types walking down the streets, especially in Blacktown. But to find yourself someone who is your equal, find them where they are normally found – at uni, and not at aunty Sheila’s Christmas parties. So, you are not misguided. You are not like all the other simple-minded folk squawking because they think they are outraged. They would not even know how to compose an intelligent conversation about the cause of their outrage. Most people nowadays think that it’s par for course to get outraged about anything. So don’t be like these mindless fools with their pseudo outrage. Challenge them and see what is the basis of their concern. You will find that they are irritated because they did not come up with this genius advice in the first instance. Tho, batao, are you at uni now? And have you met any dishy boys you have your eye on? Besharam! I knew this is why you asked me this question in the first place!

The original Australian sub-continental agony aunt. Email: info@indianlink.com.au

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