Rhea Verma
‘My dad, in his own words’ is a Father’s Day tribute series where we ask children to interview their fathers, showcasing their intergenerational bond and celebrating the eventful lives they’ve both had.
Here Rhea Verma, President of the Indian Youth Association Victoria (IYAV) chats to her father Gurpreet (Gary) Verma, President of the Hindu Council of Australia, Victorian Chapter and Vice-President of Sri Durga Temple Rockbank.
Rhea Verma: What do you remember about moving to Brisbane?
Gary Verma: I came to Australia on 9 February 1996, when I was 23. I had finished my Bachelor’s degree in India, and it was time to explore the world, continue my education and build a future.
I came with two suitcases. My dad gave me $1,000. My university fees were organised for the first year, but apart from that, I had little money or plans. I didn’t even have a place to stay when I landed – I sat at the airport thinking what to do next.
Looking back, those were some of the most important days of my life. I started with nothing, but I had my education, values, and I was willing to work hard. Coming to Australia changed my life.
Rhea Verma: How did you end up in Melbourne?
Gary Verma: I got an opportunity with IBM in 1998. They offered me a position on a big telecommunications project in Melbourne and I moved.
Once again, I came with the same two suitcases! When I was studying, I was doing whatever work I could, like taxi driving. Sometimes I would wait for customers at the taxi rank with my IT textbook, studying as much as I could. I really wanted to change my life. So when IBM gave me that opportunity, it felt like finally all that studying and working was paying off.
Brisbane and Melbourne gave me a lot. Both cities are close to my heart because they were parts of my journey.
Rhea Verma: When did you start doing seva and advocacy?
Gary Verma: During my bachelor days, I did seva at the Durga Temple in Ludhiana. There was a thing in me to help the community… since this country has given to us, it’s time to give back.
I was a volunteer at Sri Durga Temple after Mum and I built our home in West Melbourne in 2001. We stayed devoted to the Mandir, and I was blessed to become Vice President years later.
I got involved in advocacy as more Indians started moving in. When I first moved here, the closest Indian grocery store was 35 minutes away. Now there’s one in every neighbourhood, which we are so lucky for. That’s why I got into a role at Hindu Council, to fight for policies for Indians in Victoria, to make sure we are heard in the decision-making process.
Rhea Verma: You must be very proud of your journey!
Gary Verma: Yeah, I’m very proud, very humble. With God’s grace and helpful friends and family, I could put two beautiful daughters through their education. I’m proud of you both – you’re doing an excellent job in your careers and community work. I am so lucky you followed in my footsteps to help the community. This runs in the blood.
Rhea Verma: Yeah, it does! What do you remember about becoming a father?
Gary Verma: I was over the moon. Suddenly, there was this little person coming into our lives who was going to depend on us.
Father’s Day Rhea Verma
When you were born… the doctor put you in my arms. I was speechless. You can try to explain what it feels like to become a father, but until you experience it, you don’t really understand it.
Your first child is special, because you realise you must be responsible for someone other than myself. Your grandparents weren’t with us, so we learnt a lot ourselves. We went to lots of parenting classes, read whatever information we could find, and tried to work things out as we went along.
Becoming a father changed my priorities forever.
Rhea Verma: Was there something you sacrificed as a father that you hope Prisha and I understand one day?
Gary Verma: I had an opportunity to take a job overseas. It would have given me three times the income I was earning, a better house, a different quality of life.
GARY VERMA
But you had just been born in Melbourne. We had started building our life here. I wanted to take you to kinder, to school, see your first steps and be there for those moments you don’t get back. So I rejected that opportunity. Financially, maybe it wasn’t the best decision. But as a father, I don’t regret it – I chose my family.
Sometimes you have to trust you’ve made the right decision for the people you love. For me, having my family close was more important than earning three times the money.
Rhea Verma: What’s your funniest memories of us growing up?
Gary Verma: I remember trying to change your nappy with a chunni over my nose to deal with the smell!
But some of my favourite memories are the everyday ones – driving you across the West Gate Bridge in our red Ford Fairmont in the middle of the night when you wouldn’t sleep, until you finally nodded off in the back seat.
When Prisha was young, she was my xerox copy child. We are both Scorpios; she was due on my birthday but arrived a few days earlier. We both have a scar on our left cheek. It was my dream to be a lawyer, and I am seeing her fulfil that now.
Rhea Verma: What advice would you give me and Prisha?
Gary Verma: There is a line from 3 Idiots that I always tell you: Kaabil bano, kaamyaabi jhak maar ke peeche aayegi. Don’t run after success – if you focus on doing your best, success will eventually run after you.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Don’t be afraid to take risks but think about them carefully. And always stay humble. Because if you are healthy, happy and surrounded by people you love, you already have something valuable.
Rhea Verma: Last question. Who do you love more, me or Prisha?
Gary Verma: No, I’m not going there! You both make me proud in your own ways.
When mumma was expecting each of you, she had different cravings. With you she was craving Mars bars, and with Prisha green chillies. I understand both personalities from those cravings – you’re the sweet, emotional child, and Prisha is the sharp, confident, adventurous child.
Rhea Verma: So you don’t have a favourite?
Gary Verma: Absolutely not.
Rhea Verma: Good answer.
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