I’m a successful and single 34-year-old, why can’t I find a man?

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Dear Auntyji

I occasionally read your column for the fun of it – and I thought I would submit my problem to get your thoughts. I’m 34 and work as an executive assistant at a small firm. People tell me I’m good-looking but I still haven’t found a man to marry. All I want in this life is to get married to a man who loves me, stay at home and raise kids and live happily ever after. Is this such a bad dream to have?  I have met many men, but none of them turns out to be my forever guy. I want to have a spark with my future husband, and when I meet these potential suitors, if I don’t get a spark straight away, I tend to reject them. I am tired of doing everything on my own, Auntyji, life is so hard. I just wish I had a husband who could help me. Are you able to offer me some advice? I would like a tall, handsome husband who has a really good job and is well settled and would be happy with a stay-at-home wife. And I want him to love me and for us to have that special spark. Where can I find such a husband?

Auntyji says

Are you for real, bekaar aurat? You leave me speechless with your demands. So you want a husband who is handsome and loving and rich – but what are you bringing to the relationship other than giving him aulad? You say you expect an immediate spark. Is your future husband supposed to be an electron that would spark in the mere presence of your highness? I am at a loss for what advice to give a jahil like you. You are single probably because you think that none of the nice men you meet are good enough for you. You are placing impossible demands on prospective suitors. Marriage is more than all that – and so you actually don’t deserve to be married. You are single because that’s what you get for being so picky. Good you rejected all those guys, because none of them deserved a budtehzeeb like you for a wife. Here’s my advice to you. Update your perspective of what marriage means. Understand first what you bring into a relationship, and learn how to be a good partner.

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