Dear mothers of temperamental teens (i.e. all teens),
This Mother’s Day, a thought along the lines of “if only my teen was like this every day,” will go through your head. As a former teen myself, I would like to apologise on behalf of all my fellow South Asian Joan of Arcs who can’t seem to keep their rebellious spirit in check.
So, to make up for this, more than offering a mere apology, I am willing to act as your teen angst translator. Here are some key phrases that you should understand so that you can weave your way out of any confusing situation. (Mother’s Day 2025)
“I’m fine.”
“I’m really not fine, but if I told you that I’d burst into tears and that would be like, totally not cool.”
They’ve probably got their diary open and are furiously listing ways that they’ve been wronged by the world. They’re looking at their reality through sepia tinted glasses and their soundtrack for the week, if not, the next month, will be a mixture of Lana Del Rey (AKA queen of melancholy) and Green Day (edgy rock) songs.
They’re not just sad, they’ve fallen in love with the idea of being sad.
Do: Leave them to perform their dramatic monologue on why life sucks in the privacy of their room.
Don’t: Give them your attention – it’ll only make them feel more like the main character.
“I’m not mad at you.”
“I am SO mad at you, but I have no idea how to even begin to express myself.” It can be difficult to identify signs and symptoms of repressed anger, especially because their behaviour will be similar to what they usually do on a day to day basis (i.e. locking themselves in their room).
Telltale signs of repressed angst include:
- Failing to make eye contact with you
- Their Whatsapp, Instagram, Facebook DP might have changed to a quote on how they’re misunderstood (“the worst kind of loneliness in the world is the isolation that comes from being misunderstood” – Dan Brown), or better yet, it may just be black to symbolise their sadness.
- Revenge studying – i.e. studying to prove you wrong when you said that they weren’t studying enough. Which I guess works in your favour…
Do: Let them go on the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with experiencing teen angst
Don’t: Feel compelled to join in on the ride
“Mum, I think it’s time for me to pick up a new hobby.”
“Mum, it’s time for me to study for that exam that I really don’t want to study for. But I want to appear as though I’m being productive so that you won’t get mad at me.” It’s really that simple.
Do: Hide that newly bought embroidery set and sewing machine
Don’t: Be excited about their new hobby. It will only last until finals are over.
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“You just don’t understand.”
“You haven’t grown up here, so you’re probably as clueless as I am about what to study/which career path to choose etc.” This is when you know that they’re really grasping at straws.
Do: Say the “I am your mother, so I know everything,” line, but with your own dramatic twist of course.
Don’t: Agree.
“No, I don’t want to become a doctor/lawyer/engineer.”
“I have absolutely no idea what a doctor/lawyer/engineer actually does in their day to day, but I reject all three purely because it’s what you want me to do and it seems boring.” I mean, the logic is impenetrable right? (Mother’s Day 2025)
Do: Say “okay, that’s fine by me.” It’ll confuse them and they might start considering these careers as viable options.
Of course, you’ll need to understand more phrases in order to be truly fluent in “teen” speak, but this should be enough if you just want to be able to navigate your way through the initial stages of this highly confusing time. (Mother’s Day 2025)
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace that comes with Mother’s Day. A day where your child is obliged to drop their verbal weapons and pick up flowers which are way too expensive (and which were bought using your money of course).
READ MORE: Mithila Gupta’s Mother’s Day tribute as a new mum – Indian Link
