Our Mother’s Day series ‘My Mum in her own words’ pays tribute to our mothers, showcasing the intergenerational bond between mother and child. Here, Mithila Gupta, new mum and creator of SBS’s Four Years Later, answers questions from her twelve-week-old baby girl Rani Gupta-Glavan (we know she’s not old enough to conduct an interview, let alone sit upright independently, but suspend your disbelief!)
Rani Gupta-Glavan: When did you realise I was coming, and how did that feel?
Mithila Gupta: I was actually in post-production for my series ‘Four Years Later’. I had hoped to have a bubba; we had decided for me to get through my shoot before we would start trying. We were so lucky – you came to us not long after, it took about a month.
It just felt like magic. I couldn’t believe it. I tested over and over again because it felt like just the greatest blessing!
Also, at the time my dad (your Nana) could no longer get cancer treatment, and was given six months – he’s since passed, bless his soul – but he was around then, and when we learned about you, we just couldn’t believe our luck that we could share the good news with Papa! Through the toughest time for our family, you gave us hope.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: How did you choose my name?
Mithila Gupta: We chose your name ‘Rani’, because it means ‘queen’. We knew even before day one that whoever you turn out to be, you will be an absolute queen!
Your dad Tom and I had gone through many names for girls and boys before I even got pregnant, and out of all the names in Hindi, English, or Croatian, Rani was the only name for any gender we agreed on. So, we crossed our fingers that you would turn out to be a girl and you did!
It was a no-brainer you were going to be our queen!
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Rani Gupta-Glavan: How did you and Dad feel when you held me for the first time?
Mithila Gupta: I had a C-section, so when they pulled you out and I saw you, I was still awake. They put you on my chest while they were doing surgery; a lot was going on, I couldn’t see a thing. All I could see was you. I just burst into tears, and I laughed.
You felt like the most natural, but also the most surreal presence in our lives. Your father was very strong and stable – he cut your cord actually. So, he got to touch you even before I did. But we just felt like our lives were beginning. It was just the most magical feeling.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: Who in our family do I remind you of the most?
Mithila Gupta: You know, it’s a funny question because I’m trying not to project too much on you. I want you to grow up to be your own person. But a couple of other people have mentioned there are reflections of your Nana (my father) in you – when you sleep, you have a peaceful face like his. He was so full of life and so loud and vibrant, but when he slept, he was just overcome with peace; I see that in you.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: Sorry for keeping you up at night! How are you dealing with the sleeplessness?
Mithila Gupta: The sleeplessness is hard. It was especially hard when you were a newborn. I think I just dealt with it because I was excited to see you and hold you.
There were times when I didn’t deal with it as well. There have been tantrums. There have been tears. I think that’s very normal, but I’ve just allowed myself to feel those feelings and as a result, most of the time when I’ve got you in my arms, no matter what time [of the day] it is I’m very happy to be there.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: What’s been the happiest day with me so far?
Mithila Gupta: I’ve really enjoyed celebrating my birthday with you. You, me, your dad and Nani all went out for a big lunch to one of my favourite places by the beach, and I got to drink champagne.
I was doing all the things I like to do to treat myself, with my favourite people around me. But then I would look over and you were there! That just took the birthday joy and life joy to the next level.
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Rani Gupta-Glavan: What’s been the most challenging day with me so far?
Mithila Gupta: A challenging but also beautiful day was when we flew down to Melbourne and we took you to your Nana and Nani’s (my mum and dad’s) house.
It was the first time I deeply, achingly felt the loss of your Nana, because I expected him to come to the front door to greet you and he wasn’t there.
The emotions were quite deep and quite sad. But there was also beauty in it, because while I felt his absence, I felt your presence – we put you in his chair, we took photos of you next to photos of him. Even though it was tough, it did feel like you were meeting him for the first time.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: What do you have planned for my 1st birthday?
Mithila Gupta: A big party! I don’t know how social you’re going to be. I’m very social and your dad is not so social. But I want to have a huge party for you so we can celebrate you. I think this will involve good food, good drinks and some kind of play equipment for all your cousins and our friends’ kids to come and celebrate you.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: What would you do if I broke tradition in my career or in my love life?
Mithila Gupta: I would high five you! Break tradition, I encourage it! I want you to forge your own path. That’s exactly what I’ve done. I’m a screenwriter, for God’s sake! My parents encourage me to be who I want to be, and I’m proud of that. I want to do the same for you.
Rani Gupta-Glavan: What’s something you want to tell me now, even though I probably won’t understand?
Mithila Gupta: Do you know what? When you look at me, I feel like you understand everything. I don’t know if I can tell you much that you don’t understand. I feel like you carry more wisdom than me. You seem to live in the moment and connect with people with your whole heart. So more than tell you something, I would like to ask you something!
Rani Gupta-Glavan: What advice would you give me in life?
Mithila Gupta: Be open-minded and live your life with an open heart. Have your boundaries, be strong about them. Don’t do things that make you feel like you’re compromising your values.
Just live and love openly. I feel like you already know that, but that’s what I would remind you of time and time again.
