Ruling the Roost(er)

Eid is coming up, and no doubt you will have to ensure a feast. Why not some Halal chicken curry, suggests Auntyji

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Dear Auntyji, 

Assalamaaleikum. We live on a very large property, and keep some chickens, sheep and three cats. My brother lives next door, and generally we all get along quite well. But recently Auntyji, I experienced a situation and would like your opinion on this. The lafda is this. We had six chickens, and one red rooster with black tail feathers. He used to be the boss of all the chickens – and sometimes when the chickens would peck at each other or not share food, he would come running, making this funny korook korook kook sound and he would peck the chickens until they behaved again. My grandchildren called the rooster Golu Matolu, Goles for short. Now my brother would always eye the rooster, and say things like, I feel like murga ka tarkari today. Or, that murga looks ready for my handi – it’s time to halal him. This is all Fiji-speak for saying that he wanted to eat the rooster – because for us Fiji folk rooster curry is a delicacy. In any case, Golu Matolu has gone missing for over two weeks. I want to ask my brother if he decided to make good on his promise of halaling the murga, but it’s roza mahina and I don’t want to create problems. My second issue is that the murgis are now behaving even worse than before. They have no one to control them. They peck each other noisily, and one of them has even started behaving like a rooster, by trying to crow and controlling the other chickens. What do I do, Auntyji?

Auntyji says

This is the wackiest story I have come across – and this too, in the month of Ramadan. I don’t even know where to start – because in this month of abstinence, it is gunaah for me to say anything even remotely controversial. But I suppose that I must remain authentic to my true nature, because that is how my creator has made me.

So your murga has gone rafoo chakar. Koi baat nai – let’s just assume he’s taking a break from looking after his brood of quarrelsome murgiyaan. It can be hard work, looking after a bunch of chooks who think it’s perfectly acceptable to behave like a collective of goondas after a bad batch of lassi during Holi. So go and buy yourself another murga. Don’t bother asking your brother about the missing murga. It’s the month of Ramadan, so let it go. Buy another murga and hope that he is able to control all the murgiyaan – because after a week or two of freedom, the murgis might have decided that they don’t want a murga lording over them after all, especially if one of the murgis now identifies as a murga and can fulfil this role to exemplary standards.

And your second option? Well, Eid is coming up, and no doubt you will have to ensure a feast. So maybe you can halal all the murgi for an Eid dawat. Everyone knows that murgi ki tarkari is essential for Eid. Problem solved. No murga, no murgi, and no shaitaani temptation for bade bhaiya either. I recommend Auntyji’s halal chicken curry. Win win. Eid Mubarak!

Read More: Confessions of a shopaholic: Auntyji

The original Australian sub-continental agony aunt. Email: info@indianlink.com.au

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