Ask Auntyji: uninvited guests and stingy sisters

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You ask, Auntyji answers – no dilemma too big or small!

Auntyji.Indian Link

Get a babysitter!

Dear Auntyji,

My husband is about to have his 40th birthday next month and he is keen to have a get together with all his friends at a pub in the city. He has about 30 friends coming. Now, we have a mutual friend whom we haven’t seen in a while because he had a baby two years ago and disappeared from the scene. So we invited Ram to our party, and he wrote back saying he would love to come, but he wanted to bring little Rocky along as well!

Now the trouble is that it’s an adult’s party. By that I mean, it is a night time event and it’s not for kids. It’s at the pub! We have tried giving Ram subtle hints, but he keeps on insisting that it’s time Rocky met everyone. Auntyji, can you please help me tell Ram that kids are not invited to the party. We don’t want to offend him, but it’s not an event for his toddler to meet the gang. Any help will be appreciated.

Auntyji says

You know, I can never understand why people with children think that their kids are little pieces of the moon and that everyone wants to meet them and get to know them. Here is a note to everyone: People, no one cares about your kids and no one thinks they are little chand ka tukda. We don’t care how adorable your kid is, how cute they sound when they mispronounce their words, and we certainly don’t give a rats about how many times your toddler went to the dunny. Spare us these details and keep your kids to yourselves.

Auntyji.Indian Link

As for the party, it is an adult’s only event. No kids are allowed because no one likes ankle biters vying for attention. So, I suggest you politely tell Ram that it is a smoky, loud, drinky atmosphere which is not suitable for babies. If Ram still does not get the message, then send him another note advising the venue, except make it the wrong venue. Ram can go there to party by himself with little Rocky – who judging by his name is probably going to grow up weird anyway.

Happy 40th birthday to your hubby. He is officially a grumpy old man – so tell him to live up to this potential by telling Ram absolutely no kids are allowed at his party.

A kanjoos clan

Dear Auntyji,

My sister’s family and mine went away for a long weekend to Melbourne. There were four adults and four kids amongst us. We stayed in hotels and had a great time. On the last day, before we came back home, my sister sat us all down and pulled up her spreadsheet of all the expenditure and tried to allocate costs. Now I know that my Radhika did not eat that ice cream, it was for my nephew, and my husband had one less whiskey than Vikram, so I don’t see why I should pay for it. It took three hours to go through this spreadsheet and I could see there was ill feeling at the end, because everyone thought that they had been short changed in some way. I mean, why should I pay $20 for a glass of 20-year-old whiskey for my sister who loves whiskey? I was not happy at the end. Shilpa is still a little upset that her efforts at allocating costs were not appreciated. What do you think Auntyji, should I have refused to pay for these things that we got charged for in the spreadsheet?

Auntyji says

Auntyji.Indian Link

Man, what kind of low class, bud tehzeeb low value family do you belong to? Do you really count pennies and cents where your family is concerned? Is there even one cell in your entire nikaama body that has the potential to demonstrate generosity of spirit? This is your family we are talking about, and if you had any class, manners, or love, you would have spoilt your family rotten and not worried about $20 here and there. I mean, are you that kanjoos that you had to worry about an ice cream your nephew ate? Seriously, before you wrote to me, you should have stepped outside your house, looked up at the sky and then spat. Because rubbishing your family and treating them like you did is the same as looking up and spitting. Clearly your family has no generosity of spirit and they do not know what civility or genteel behaviour is. You have demonstrated coarse and vulgar behaviour and I am not sure you even know how common you sound.

I am ashamed of your behaviour and the fact that you think pulling out a spreadsheet is acceptable. If you want to have some culture, learn to dig deep in your pockets where your family is concerned. You are not a pharaoh. You can’t take your wealth with you when you depart this earth. When you have learnt tehzeeb, come back and let me know if you think I am wrong in my observations.