Ask Auntyji: new parents and their new babies

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Dear Auntyji,

Namashkar. I hope you are doing well during COVID. My particular conundrum requires your usual direct and blunt approach – and I would be happy to take your feedback on board.

My neighbour has a baby which is 4 months old. She is always taking the baby on walks and every time she runs into me, she wants me to interact with the baby. The problem is Auntyji that the baby is not Taimur Ali Khan. My own babies were very beautiful.  This baby is so unattractive I can barely bear to look at it. When it stares at me with its kaali kaali ankhen, I just want to look away. Its nose is too wide and it barely has any hair.

Auntyji, I always try to beat a hasty retreat but Alycia always tries to engage me in conversation. Sometimes I pretend I did not see them coming and I cross the street. But Auntyji, I can’t keep doing this forever. What advice do you have for me please. Be honest, please.

Auntyji says

Bahenji, aapke dil mein koi bhi mamta nahi hai kya? What kind of a black-hearted, cold-blooded, loveless old nagin are you? Are you sure you’re part of this community? How is it that our sages advised us that babies are the embodiment of god, and are angels in human form, and this message bypassed your chota sa aamaj entirely?

The reason this nadaan, nanhi si jaan looks at you is perhaps because being the embodiment of god, it wants to see its nemesis, the shaitaan, in human form. And you do not disappoint with your attitude and poisonous words. You don’t even refer to whether the baby is a girl or a boy – you’re calling the baby “it”.

The problem is not with the baby, the problem is with you. Aapke nazaron ka kasoor hai. How come you did not stop to think whether you could niharo this baby with your mun ki ankhein? It is not your eyes but it is your mun (mind, brain) where the fault lies. My advice would be to stop judging the external features of the baby by your insular, ganwar viewpoint. Look at the bhagwan within the baby, and you will see nothing but the most divine creation before you. Also, you better repent post haste and start seeing the parmatma within this precious bachcha, otherwise the grandchildren who are in your future will be lining up to turn off the switch on your life support when the time comes – because they recognise the churail in your soul.

READ ALSO: Ask Auntyji: On craving more Facetime with the grandkids

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