Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Beautiful bhaiyya

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Dear Auntyji

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I have an unusual problem I needed your help with. My 24-year-old brother, who was an overweight, pimply nerd throughout school and university has morphed into such a beautiful young man that I have seen girls do an actual double-take when they see him on the street. He is seriously very good looking. But it appeared that until recently, my affectionate, pyara sa chhota bhai was oblivious to this fact. However, last month, I saw all this change before my very eyes. My bhaiya came to visit us, and as he was leaving, he caught sight of his reflection in the hallway mirror. He did a double-take, and stood there with his mouth open for a few minutes, just staring at himself. I then saw the dawn of realisation in his eyes as he finally understood that he had joined the privileged ranks of the beautiful people. Now Aunty, I know all this because it too happened to me when I turned 24. It was tough, because I realised at that time that beauty is a transient thing, but one must be a good human being first and foremost. It must be a family thing because we all seem to turn from ugly ducklings into stunning swans – it happened to my sisters and cousins. Anyway, each time I see my brother, he is as affectionate and as loving as ever, but he is constantly looking at himself in the mirror and taking pictures of himself with his iphone, with a familiar bewildered gaze as if to say, what the hell happened here, dude. So my situation is this. Should I say something to my little laddoo? Or should I leave him alone to reflect further on his own glory? I want him to know that good lucks don’t solve problems and if anything, can create more issues. I want him to know that women will now treat him differently, but he must learn to discern between true friends and those that want to glow in his reflected glory. I want him to know that being a good human being is more important than khoobsoorati. What to do, Aunty, tell me, na?


Auntyji says

Arre, shaitaan! Waala hawal waala kuat! What for do you want to take panga with a decent man who is advocating a good life? Has he imposed his rules on you, such as not to eat fish, not to talk to gair mard, or to be in purdah? Tho what business is it of yours to be bothered by the accessing of wisdom in his middle twilight? Leave your bhaiya alone – from what I can see, you zaleel bhahen, you behaya besharam, you need to take some advice from your brother. Why would you even think of spiking his nimbu paani with vodka, you churail? Just be glad that your brother is acquiring wisdom. Life is not all hahahehe, so look towards your bade bhaiya for some akal, and listen to his words. What he speaks is the truth, and is providing good counsel. Of course, if he goes all pirbaba on you and says you need to be in purdah, then write back to me – because that is taking things too far.


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The original Australian sub-continental agony aunt. Email: info@indianlink.com.au

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