Sunday, January 24, 2021

Ask Auntyji

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Office banda

Dear Auntyji

Please help me, I am totally confused. I am a young, attractive, intelligent girl and only a few months ago I joined a reputed HR firm. I like working there, the people are all sweet, except some of the women who seem to be jealous of me. But ek banda hai, who pays me extra attention and is always willing to help me with working the photocopier. He seems to be around whenever I’m making a cup of coffee, and one of my colleagues hinted that he is hitting on me. Abhe woh bahut cute hai, lekin he’s a married man with two young kids. But the problem is not just this. Recently we had our office Christmas party and of course, everyone got a bit tight because the booze was free. And Auntyji, he would not leave my side! He danced with me, held my hand and hung around me and I have to admit that I enjoyed his attention. Specially since it was sobering up all the other mean women who kept giving me dirty looks. Party ke baad, he wanted to drop me home in a cab, but my brother, the kabab mein haddi, dropped in to pick me up. Now in the office, we pretend to be polite, but through the day we are sms-ing each other, and he really seems to like me. He bought a new mobile phone for this purpose. One of my friends who is also a colleague has noticed the chemistry between us, and says that what we are doing is wrong. So now I’ve started feeling thoda guilty. But I don’t see any problem with being friends. We’re not doing anything wrong, are we Auntyji?

Auntyji says

Array bewakoof, I don’t know why you’re asking me, if you think you know it all, but here is my advice for what its worth. Drop that man immediately! Stop all contact with him and if possible, move to another department or another company. The fact is, he is a married man, uski biwi aur bacche hain, so he should not even be flirting with you. But maybe he hopes that it will turn into something more. Phas jayegi toh you will be the one to suffer! Your reputation in the office will be mud, you will be called a home-breaker and worse. Kyon shadi-shuda banda ke saath involve ho rahi hain, there are plenty of single, fancy-free young men of your own age out there. They too, will pay you attention, if you let them. Don’t fall into this lafda, there is too much at stake for him and for you.


Family feelings

Dear Auntyji
My husband and our kids are going to India soon on a holiday, and there we will be meeting with our extended family and many, many relatives and friends. My problem is that my kids are now in their teens, they have strong Australian accents and are quite opinionated and independent. I am worried that they will not fit in with their Indian cousins and may even offend some of the elders with their attitudes. India mein, the elderly expect some level of respect, jaise touching their feet – but I am not sure that my kids will want to do this. They are very good generally, but if people back home constantly keep pinching their cheeks and patting their heads, they will be uncomfortable and irritated. Main kya karoon, auntyji?

Auntyji says
Mujhe samaj mein nahi aata hai ke isme problem kya hain? But since you ask, I will give you an easy solution. You say that you’re kids are generally good, so why not talk to them before you leave and give them an idea of what to expect. Forewarned is forearmed. If they are really that good, they will tolerate all these gestures of affection, after all thode din ka sawal hain. Touching elders’ feet is a sign of great respect, and they will gain the blessings of these elders, so it is a good thing, after all. Don’t worry too much, just enjoy your holiday. Kids nowadays are much smarter that we give them credit for being, I am sure yours will make a good impression on your relatives and friends. So chill, mum, its all good!

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The original Australian sub-continental agony aunt. Email: info@indianlink.com.au

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