fbpx
Saturday, February 27, 2021

No surprise, and arty-farty

Reading Time: 4 minutesUntitled
No surprise
Dear Auntyji
I was hoping you could enlighten me. Auntyji, my wife whom I love very much from the top of my heart to the bottom of my feet is a bit angry with me and I don’t really know why. Last month, it was her 40th birthday. Now, my wife does not like surprises, in fact, she hates them; but because this was a major milestone, I thought I would surprise her with a party for family and friends. I planned it to the last detail and had so much fun doing it. Everyone was sworn to secrecy and even though some of my friends asked me if Anita would like the surprise, I was confident that she would be so delighted about everything that she would get over her surprise. My wife did not suspect a thing – because  I never surprise her and so she was not expecting it. In any case, the day arrived and at the special moment, Anita walked through the door after going for a run and she was surprised by 50 people singing happy birthday to her. Auntyji, you should have seen her face. She turned as white as a bhoot and then smiled politely at everyone. But after the party, nothing has been the same between us. She keeps to herself and does not say very much to me. In fact, we have not spoken of the party; it’s as if it never happened. Now Auntyji, can you tell me how I should handle this situation? I just want things to go back to normal. Can you please tell me what to do?
Auntyji says
Oh, my, aap ne ye kya kar dala? Now you know what will happen in your house, nah? Your wife is currently like a jwala mukhi, a volcano about to burst and burn you up with her angaren. Who told you to go and surprise your wife, jab aap jaante the, ki aap ki wife ko surprises pasand naheen hai? Kis ne aap se kaha ki this will be a successful event? You should have thought long and hard about this, but what is most obvious to me is that your selfishness got the better of you. You planned the surprise because this is what you wanted, not because Anita wanted it. Arre akl ke dushman, if you had spent some time thinking about this, and if you had understood Anita, you would know that the surprise is the last thing she wanted. You have shown that you are a selfish man, and now she is probably thinking of her own mid-life crisis, and what she is doing with a naasamajh like you. So unless you want her moving out of the ghar, or throwing you into the doghouse, I suggest that you start making amends. Go and plan events to make up for your shortsightedness. Buy her jewellery, take her on a holiday, do something to show her how sorry you are, and tell her why you were wrong to plan a surprise. Then keep saying sorry until she forgives you. You need to know that you breached your wife’s expectations. She hates surprises, yet you went ahead and planned one. This is one giant mistake. So, start making up for it pronto, buddy, otherwise you will become a divorce statistic, no doubt.
****
Arty-farty
Dear Auntyji
I have a conundrum I need your help with. I work in advertising, and so have access to some nifty stuff. We are about to buy a house, and I would like some art for the house. I am a fan of Murray Frederick’s work and when I worked on his account last year, I got access to some of his famous pictures. Now, his pictures sell for approx $11,000. I don’t want to spend this kind of money and I want to print his picture, frame it and put it on my wall. My wife has issues with this. I think no one will be harmed in this; it’s a win-win situation for all. What do you think? How can I convince my wife that this is perfectly legit?
Auntyji says
Arre kumbakht! What kind of stupid husbands are writing to me now. Let me be blunt here, you chandal, you chor. What you are planning on doing is stealing. You are taking the work of someone else and not paying for it. How can you not see what you are doing? Has Murray Frederick given you permission to use his work? Did he say that he is happy for you to print off his image and put it on your wall? Unless you get his endorsement, then what you’re doing is wrong. Your wife is right. Listen to her. Stop bringing shame on our people. If you can’t afford it, then don’t have it. Art is not meant to be copied and stolen, you bewakuf.
Untitled

- Advertisement -
Auntyji
Auntyji
The original Australian sub-continental agony aunt. Email: info@indianlink.com.au

Related Articles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Podcasts

Ep 9: What do young Indians want from love?

0
Growing up in Indian culture, most of us know that love has never been as popular as marriage. Even in the movies, the main...

Ep 8: Indian links in Indigenous Australian poet Ali Cobby Eckermann’s...

0
To celebrate NAIDOC week 2020 (between 8-15 November) I spoke to Yakunytjatjara poet Ali Cobby Eckermann about her time in India where she taught...

Ep 7: In the case of Sushant Singh Rajput

0
  The torrid and high-octane Sushant Singh Rajput case has been fodder for Indian people and press for the last few months. The actor’s tragic...

Latest News

toddler dancing, copying tv

WATCH: Toddler copies TV dance moves

0
  Watch as this little kid copies the dance moves of a girl she's watching on the telly! What could go wrong with an excited...
kala chashma vina fan

WATCH: Bollywood fans from Indonesia recreate “Kala Chashma”

0
  "Kala Chashma" from Baar Baar Dekho was the ultimate party song back in 2018, and even years later, it clearly remains a hit. Check out this...
sydney indian community car rally indian community glenwood gurdwara

Big Indians No Chief

0
  Over the past few weeks, tensions have emerged within some sections of Sydney’s Indian community after a car rally with overtly religious overtures found...
former liberal staffer dhanya mani (1)

Dhanya Mani on speaking out: “It felt like a moral imperative”

0
  Trigger warning – sexual harassment The disparity between women and men in every workplace across Australia is well understood, but less understood is the disparity...

Rowing champ Gauri Kotera

0
  With a streak of wins behind her, 14-year-old Gauri Kotera is now among the top five rowers under 16, in the state of NSW. The...