Monday, January 25, 2021

#NoRegrets: Three maxims of moving on, 'cause YOLO

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Tip: If you ever need to cheer yourself up, just go to Google and type: “[Your Name] is the koolist guy on urth”. Google, the biggest computer brain on the planet, will instantly tell you that it reckons that surely the correct phrase is: “[Your Name] is the coolest guy on earth.”
Okay, well, if you insist, thanks, Google! No regrets there.

This lifts your spirits mightily, as long as you’re an easily pleased person. As a semi-sophisticated individual, I try to limit myself to doing this only 50 or 60 times a day.

But the truth is even the most successful people have regrets. Evidence comes in the shape of a news report a reader sent to me about a monarch who has ruled for 20 years but recently told his shocked populace: “I miss being an accountant.”

you only live once
you only live once

Oba Ajibade Bakare-Agoro of Nigeria ascended to the throne of his region in 1993 with the royal title Ranodu of Imota. But he badly misses his old job shuffling papers in an office, he told a stunned reporter at the Sun newspaper of Nigeria. “I miss not being able to audit account books of companies and firms,” he said, admitting that he sneaks off to his old office to stare regretfully at piles of receipts.

By coincidence, an interviewer asked this writer a related question: What is your biggest regret? I told him these were my top three:

1) Not being (current reigning heart-throb, say Shah Rukh Khan);

2) Fifty to 70 percent of the things I say or write every week and

3) Not being Taylor Swift’s “partner-for-life” this week

Psychologists say that if you have a regret involving another person, you should talk to him/her as soon as possible. True. Here’s a line that works for me: “I totally regret the things I said to you last night. I came up with a much more caustic list of scornful put-downs during the night.”

The most sure-fire cure for feeling low-spirited is to look up tattoo pictures on the internet and count how many people have invested money and pain in having “no ragrets” (sic) or “no regerts” (sic) or “no regets” tattooed permanently on their bodies. This never fails to cheer me up.

- Advertisement -

And, Ajibade Bakare-Agoro, if none of the above helps, I suggest you get some wisdom from the Holy Scriptures: “Regrets. I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention.” No, wait, that’s a song lyric. You can tell because it flows nicely but means nothing.

This columnist canvassed regular contributors to come up with some good advice concerning regrets in the modern era and they produced these three maxims. 

1) Never waste time brooding over mistakes you have made. Just blame someone else and move on.

2) If you’re doing something that you realise you will regret in the morning, make a decision now to sleep past noon

3) Don’t dwell on your past failures as you’ll surely make worse ones in future.
Now, if you regret wasting precious minutes of your life reading this column, don’t be. It was written by the coolest guy on earth. Google says so or will do so in a minute.

- Advertisement -

Related Articles


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here


Ep8: Indian links in Indigenous Australian poet Ali Cobby Eckermann’s life

To celebrate NAIDOC week 2020 (between 8-15 November) I spoke to Yakunytjatjara poet Ali Cobby Eckermann about her time in India where she taught...

Ep 7: In the case of Sushant Singh Rajput

  The torrid and high-octane Sushant Singh Rajput case has been fodder for Indian people and press for the last few months. The actor’s tragic...

Ep 6: The Indian LGBTQ+ community in 2020

  It’s been two years since the world’s largest democracy repealed the draconian Section 377 which used to allow discrimination against homosexual people. Only this...

Latest News

lilly singh

WATCH: Lilly Singh as Sima Taparia in “Indian Matchbreaking”

  Whether we liked it or not, most of us gave into the Sima Taparia craze during lockdown. Within days, we'd all binged on Netflix's...
karl rock

From New Zealand to New Delhi: Meet YouTube’s Karl Rock

  When Karl Rock picks up the phone (with a cheerful ‘Namaste!’ no less), his New Zealand accent is apparent. That is, until he bursts...
Buddhist Kung Fu nuns kicking hard at centuries-old taboos

India’s Buddhist Kung Fu nuns

  They are the Buddhist Kung Fu nuns of Drukpa lineage, known globally for trekking across the Himalayas to pick up trash, paddling through mountain...
jhansi strawberries

Strawberries to write a new chapter of development in Jhansi

  Jhansi which is well-known as the land of valour is all set to write a new chapter and strawberry cultivation would play a pivotal...

WATCH: Aussies try to guess Indian slang

  Many new migrants have had to quickly learn the local lingo upon arriving in Australia, picking up the ie's and the o's as part...