fbpx
Saturday, January 23, 2021

The many ways in which modern life can be oh-so-annoying

Reading Time: 3 minutesA man raised by wolves in a forest says he misses his old life. Living as a wolf cub in a Spanish wilderness was much less stressful than modern life, Marcos Rodríguez Pantoja told the BBC last year. Journalists expressed surprise at his declaration then, but I totally get his point. Last week, my book ran out of batteries! A tech-driven modern life isn’t easy, you all.
I know Socrates is looking down at me from heaven and laughing, waving his “always on” scroll. Meanwhile, at home, my child is outraged. Why? “My snacks are so crunchy I can’t hear the TV,” she complains, furious.
Modern.Indian Link
This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to this child. I mean, how is she going to cope with real life, during which massively tragic things happen – like, you know, when they forget to put mayo in your sandwich, a devastating incident that totally spoiled this columnist’s day yesterday?
Modern4.Indian Link
I told her that in my day, the only TV was a window facing a brick wall and the only snacks our fingers. She said brick walls are better than what is on TV these days… she’s probably right.
Back at work, I was moaning about my dead e-book when a colleague told me about another tech problem. The trend spreading across Asia is to have a robot vacuum cleaner, a wheeled disc that quietly vacuums your floors in the middle of the night.Unfortunately no one told these machines that a) Koreans and Japanese people often sleep on thin mattresses on the floor; and b) sucking up hair on the floor is not a good thing to do if it is still attached to a human’s head! On one recent occasion, firefighters had to be called to remove a ravenous disc vacuum cleaner from its Korean owner’s head.
East Asian owners are junking their cleaning robots for superior technology: broomsticks.
Police officers in the Indian state of Odisha demonstrated how they use pigeons to get messages across a vast portion of the state in just 20 minutes. During floods and power cuts the police pigeon service is the only functioning communications system.
So, basically, if their conversations are anything like mine, you send a bird across the state with your message, such as “LOL” and 40 minutes later, you get the bird back with a message saying “LMAO” (Laughing My Ass Off). Oh well, at least no one can complain about information overload.
A colleague showed me an angry text that had been sent by a young person from an aircraft recently. “There’s so much leg room in business class that I can barely reach the touch screen TV,” she complained. Shock horror, such suffering!
The odd thing is her inability to realise how the rest of us, sitting in economy class seats with our noses mere millimetres away from the seat in front, will take her message. Where’s her brain?
Modern2.Indian Link
Uh-oh. I would canvass readers, contributors and colleagues for more examples to fill this column with, but the main functional section of my own brain – which is housed in a smartphone in my right hand – is about to run out of batteries. So I have to stop here.
Stop laughing, Socrates.
IANS

- Advertisement -

Related Articles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Podcasts

Ep8: Indian links in Indigenous Australian poet Ali Cobby Eckermann’s life

0
To celebrate NAIDOC week 2020 (between 8-15 November) I spoke to Yakunytjatjara poet Ali Cobby Eckermann about her time in India where she taught...

Ep 7: In the case of Sushant Singh Rajput

0
  The torrid and high-octane Sushant Singh Rajput case has been fodder for Indian people and press for the last few months. The actor’s tragic...

Ep 6: The Indian LGBTQ+ community in 2020

0
  It’s been two years since the world’s largest democracy repealed the draconian Section 377 which used to allow discrimination against homosexual people. Only this...

Latest News

lilly singh

WATCH: Lilly Singh as Sima Taparia in “Indian Matchbreaking”

0
  Whether we liked it or not, most of us gave into the Sima Taparia craze during lockdown. Within days, we'd all binged on Netflix's...
karl rock

From New Zealand to New Delhi: Meet YouTube’s Karl Rock

0
  When Karl Rock picks up the phone (with a cheerful ‘Namaste!’ no less), his New Zealand accent is apparent. That is, until he bursts...
Buddhist Kung Fu nuns kicking hard at centuries-old taboos

India’s Buddhist Kung Fu nuns

0
  They are the Buddhist Kung Fu nuns of Drukpa lineage, known globally for trekking across the Himalayas to pick up trash, paddling through mountain...
jhansi strawberries

Strawberries to write a new chapter of development in Jhansi

0
  Jhansi which is well-known as the land of valour is all set to write a new chapter and strawberry cultivation would play a pivotal...

WATCH: Aussies try to guess Indian slang

0
  Many new migrants have had to quickly learn the local lingo upon arriving in Australia, picking up the ie's and the o's as part...