Dear Auntyji
My husband works in advertising. Two weeks ago he found out that one of his staff members who reports directly to him, who was only working three days a week but now has gone full time, has had her salary prorated and consequently earns $20k more than him. My husband was shocked and upset, and is unsure about how to handle the situation. The company is not doing as well as it could, so he is doubly concerned about asking for any salary increases. What do you think he should do in this situation Auntyji, bechara pareshan hai?
Auntyji says
Oh my dear, this is not a great situation to be in. I too would be mighty irked if I were your husband, but then, what do you expect from working in advertising – nothing good can come from this. Ever. So, here is what your husband must do. He must act swiftly; the longer this continues, the more it becomes an acceptable situation, until the point where your husband will think that it’s not even worth worrying about. But of course, if your husband is a chuha, then none of this applies, but if your husband wants to be a sher, then he needs to redress this situation. So, your husband-the-fearless must go to HR or his manager and explain clearly that having a subordinate earning more than him does not make sense. If your husband has more accountability and responsibility then he should be paid accordingly. If the company is not doing so well, then he can stay on the same salary, but work four days a week for instance. He could go and play golf and pick up the kids. When the company turns around, then the salary balancing can occur. Of course, your husband should state clearly that he is unhappy with the status quo and make this HR’s problem to solve. Now, you must also understand that your husband probably thinks that the company is not doing so well so he shouldn’t even bother asking for this. The point your husband should ponder is that if the organisation is not doing so well, how is it managing to pay a person with fewer responsibilities $20k more. The question is one of fairness. Further, your husband should not have to solve this issue. Let HR and your husband’s boss sort this out. Further, you must also be prepared to acknowledge and accept that if your husband isn’t interested in going down this road, you can’t use this as a stick to beat him with. But the fact that you are writing to me asking this question makes me think that perhaps this is exactly what you will be doing. Stop and think about it. No one likes a shrill wife who emasculates her husband by belittling him and telling him what to do. Show him your support – even a chuha deserves support.
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Leave me alone already!
Dear Auntyji
I have decided that I did not want to be with my girlfriend of two years because she was not as supportive as I would have liked, and I found that I was happier when I was by myself or with others than when I was with her. So I broke up with her and dealt with my sadness and all that and have moved on. However, all my friends and family are expecting me to be a-sighing and a-sobbing and carrying on. I have had phone calls and posts on Facebook and texts from everyone wanting to know how I am. Why is everyone so interested in my feelings? What do I do to tell everyone to stop worrying about my feelings? Can you please shed light on this, Auntyji?
Auntyji says
Arre, my chikna, my sonu monu, what a funny little jalebi you are. So this is what happened. Your life was all gol mol, going around swimmingly and everything was hunky dory. You and your girlfriend looked like the ideal couple and everyone was probably expecting the usual tamasha of engagement, shaadi, bachche etc. then you decided that shaadi was barbadi and you put a full stop to this love story. Of course everyone was upset by this sudden ending, by this anti-climax, by this film-mein-intermission-cum-ending. You should be happy ki people are caring, but you’re not! You should be khush ki log jaanna chahate hai ki are you ok. At least you have people worried about you. You have two options when people ask you what you are feeling. You can give them a pained look, look away, put a hand on your heart, shake your head sadly while gazing at the ground for precisely five seconds, then change the topic. Everyone will get the meaning without your saying a word. Your second option is to look blankly at the person and say, what do you mean how am I – why, what happened to me? And if they say, well, you broke up with Shania, are you ok? And then you say Shania? Ye Shania kaun hai? Kaun Shania? Then change the topic. Or, you could start elaborating on why you broke up and make the story so dull and painful, that people will be begging you to stop after two minutes and they will never ask you how you are again. See, you have many options available to you. But at least be happy, nah, ki people care. If you were related to me and you broke up with Shania, Tania or even Chameli, you wouldn’t even get a slightest bit of interest from me. I would not even bother asking you how you are on a normal day, let alone after you broke up with an unsupportive girlfriend. But perhaps I might care if you write back and tell me what you meant when you said she was unsupportive. I hope you don’t mean she was unsupportive of your smoking or hanging out in the pub. If this is what you meant, then you haraami, you budtameez, stop wasting my time.