What’s with the bag?
This fad of women toting around large and ungainly handbags is a mystery that’s waiting to be solved, says L P AYER.
That does it! Sunil Gautam’s lowdown on women’s footwear and Rajni’s rejoinder (Indian Link November 1 issue) has ignited a fuse dormant in me for long. I can’t wait anymore to write on a subject that has been weighing on my mind and taxing my brain for quite some time now. Yes, it is the handbags – the mega sized ones women carry.
We men never dare to question the need for our opposite numbers to carry a handbag. Unlike us males who don’t mind looking uncouth even at best of times, women are conscious of their countenance twenty-five hours of the day. Some of them wake up in the middle of the night to touch up their make-up before going back to sleep. So there can be no question that they need to carry a few items – a coloured wax stick to make languid lips look luscious, black pencil to adjust arches above the brows and a couple of other things to spruce up skin tone, enhance eyelashes, etc. Some sanitary pieces are standard items for obvious reasons. All these can easily be ensconced in a paperback size pouch. Or in a golden Glomesh of yester year. So why on earth do most women now carry such huge handbags that will swallow everything except the kitchen sink. I do suspect they carry not a sink but a washbasin, so that they can avoid the inconvenience of a long wait in public conveniences.
Look at Liz whose ancestors once carried on their shoulders half of the planet. But our dear Queen has a bag only half the size of her corgi, daintily dangling from her elbow. Does the lady from Bucks buck the current trend? If a woman of such great pomp can manage with a tiny tote, why do our women carry queen-size bags? What do they carry in them? I feel like screaming, even at the risk of being branded a perv. I am not, I assure you, I’m just plain curious. My ignorance is due to the fact that MOH (my other half) still carries only an airline ticket folder-size bag in leather or leather-like material. She is a proud possessor of a pearly Glomesh pouch as well.
According to unofficial research, those toffs trundling large treasure (and trash) troves want the size of their bags to match their ego. Besides, the bags must bear brand names as pouches of pedigree, with bells and whistles to boot. Designer names are dime a dozen in this domain of handbags – from Armani to Zak and every alphabet in between. You can be assured of a good giggle when you google to read the description of the brand names. One of them, Mui Mui sounds like it is made of moggy’s fur. If you want to see them all in one location, any large street market in China is your best bet. After all, it is where most of them are made like most other designer stuff.
And one more thing. No woman is satisfied with just one bag for all occasions. It is a case of one size doesn’t fit all. There should be one in every shade to go with the gear they wear and also match the mood of the moment. Still, bags come only second to shoes in a well-stocked wardrobe. So let’s not bag those ladies who have more than one.
According to a recent research paper, psychologists can tell the character of a person from the contents of her bag. Rumour has it that offices employing a large number of women are considering placing a measuring basket, as seen near airline check-ins, to limit handbag size as the extra space they occupy costs more in rental. They also want to use that as an excuse to pay women less than their male co-workers. No doubt women of the world will weld together to ward off anyone bagging them, and eventually carry the day.
Sunil, following your footsteps on your fancy footwear feature; I would like to see if the bag issue attracts a rejoinder.
It’s in the bag!
They may not fit into the average male’s concept of a petite purse, but big, beautiful handbags are making more than a fashion statement today, says SHERYL DIXIT.
Okay, so the trend of the day for us women is to carry around something that looks like a small sack that Santa would lug in these thrifty days. And just like Santa, this tan receptacle (also available in green, purple and enticing shades of gold) is full of goodies. Like your designer sunglasses, which you refuse to stick into the pocket your slacks, for fear that it will mar the lines of the garment and make you look more daggy. And those wet wipes which you need after spilling dal on your T-shirt at a restaurant. Also your phone and car keys which you’ve forgotten on the table at the same restaurant, as you make a dash for the door before we decide on a second dessert.
Are the kids hungry? Snacks are available 24/7, along with drinks, bottles and assorted toys for keeping them busy when you’re trying to have a prolonged adult conversation with your boss whom you’ve bumped into at that very restaurant (isn’t it popular?). How often have you heard those words that save your psyche from an onslaught of juvenile tantrums which always happen in public: it’s in my bag! And as the moment passes, you breathe a sigh of relief.
So why, you may ask, would the young, trendy, upbeat and childless carry around those ungainly extravaganzas that are almost as large as themselves? Simply because you can conceal a whole wardrobe in them, which facilitates for a quick Cat Woman like change from professional to party animal on a Friday evening. And they can reach for anything, from that crucial bronze lip gloss to the handy contraceptive, simply by dipping into its mysterious depths.
Handbags, like shoes, are an enigma for women and this current trend of voluptuous styling is available in Gucci, Prada, YSL, Bvlgari, Jimmy Choo…and they can’t be wrong, can they? Try fitting your universe in a little clutch bag and I’ll bet you’ll have a challenge on your hands.
And of course, there’s the Queen. Now Liz, as you familiarly call her, is a ‘little bag’ person, simply because she doesn’t ever need to hand Phil a tissue to rub that spot off his nose. Her corgis have their own entourage, so she doesn’t need to fit in a collapsible poop-scoop or doggie-doo plastic bags. But have you seen Margaret Thatcher in historic action with her bag, bopping a deserving journalist on the noggin? Or for that matter, Paris Hilton’s armwear? Everything’s in there, from six iPhones, three wallets full of credit cards, a three kg cosmetic clutch and her dog. That’s right, ‘big’ is the new ‘in’!
We women salute the gurus of style who decreed that handbags should be large and should actually serve a more domestic purpose than that of just looking good. They can be a weapon, a pillow, a bin and are a deterrent to pickpockets who will be unlikely to find your wallet among the rest of the debris.
So curb your secret envy that men are cursed with meagre accessories and leave us to our big, bulky, brawny, bold and beautiful bags!
